Riding the High

The cloud passed.  Josh arrived home that night after reading my blog and talked some sense into me.  I thank God for him.  We all need someone who can see through the muck of the day-to-day to the truth of the matter, the reality.  I'm learning what triggers these moments of doubt and, little by little, identifying how to see my way out.

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the high from the spin class I taught earlier.  The rec center has decided to start an intro class as a stepping stone for beginners to enter the program, and I am the instructor.  The first Monday of the month is a free orientation where we spend more time on set-up and the basics of position, form, and self-awareness on the bike.  We had seven people tonight, five of whom had never been on a spin bike before, and I realized as I left that I love teaching: first-time spinners, high school students, my kids, Merlot...  I love taking something previously unthinkable and making it accessible.  I love introducing a principle that illuminates everything around it in a new way.  I love clarifying an idea that was once fuzzy or nebulous.  I adore seeing people grow in confidence and the belief that they can, indeed, do--or understand--something they were certain was too hard.

I think some part of me was made to teach.  In spite of the many admonitions I received not to become a teacher when I grew up, I did, and for a few years, I felt every single facet of my being was exercised and utilized and challenged and stimulated in the classroom.  As a parent, it feels much the same; the subject matter has simply shifted from Shakespeare to sharing.  Raising a puppy adds to the fun.

We have all been created--and equipped--with the strengths and temperaments and personalities to do something, to feel a deep exhilaration as we utilize the minds and bodies and hearts we've been given.  I felt it tonight--the rush of contentment and joy in exercising my particular set of attributes.  Like Eric Liddel, the Olympic gold medal runner of Chariots of Fire, I think we've been made to "feel God's pleasure" when we're living out of the truth of who we are and what we excel at and how we're designed to complement this world.

My great blessing is that Josh recognizes those strengths in me, gives me space to nurture them, encourages me to use them.  He generously provides not only the freedom to explore what I might be capable of but also the resources to make a legitimate go of something.  He trusts me to know myself and what I want and then makes a path to its existence.  I have often thought how different my life could be if I hadn't met a man with such faith in and love for me.  He is amazing.

I hope Ben and Abby find their exhilaration-maker one day.  I hope we can recognize and encourage it as it unfolds.  I hope Josh and I together can help clear a path to its existence, whatever "it" may be.  I pray one day they walk out of an office or home or restaurant or gym feeling God's pleasure because they are doing exactly what they've been designed to do.  

It's a great feeling.