Sunday, September 27, 2009

Never Say Never (Unless It's Like This)

We continued our annual family tradition of driving Squaw Pass this morning. It was a glorious day: sunny with just a hint of crispness in the air and, of course, mountains of aspen in myriad stages of colorful surrender to the shorter, colder days of fall.

Ben suggested classical music when I asked what kind of peaceful music we should listen to as we drove, so we enjoyed timeless masterpieces while the kids identified the sounds of violins and pianos and other instruments.

We drove, commenting on the cyclists we passed, noting the most stunning shades of gold and orange, and pointing out the place where we took our earliest family pictures, first when Ben was about eight weeks old and later when Abby was just a week old.

At one point, Ben said from the back seat, "Mommy, I'm never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to stop loving you."

My heart burst into flame with the warmth and sincerity of his affection.

After Ben said this, Abby began to echo the same sentiment to her Daddy. Josh looked at me, and we smiled in recognition of this perfect moment in this little family we've miraculously created together and get to call our own.

Ben offered me this beautiful emblem of hope as I reflected on the last four years we've shared as a family, because in order to say this, he must have heard it--and internalized it--from us. And if Ben and Abby leave our family with only one thing, I pray that it is the knowledge that we will never, never, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever stop loving them.

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